Galileo Pomponazzi - The World's mine!
(by Principe Myskin and Markus the Horrible)
This page is a tribute to Monty Python and dedicated to Frank Zappa: it has been composed while listening, at a suitable volume, to the October 26th 1973 show, Austin, Texas.
"....Suddenly the music became vapour, and the vapour turned green, and a long-haired man with foolish eyes popped up laughin' in between the vapour - and the guy's name was Pomponazzi..."
|
|
Galileo Pomponazzi, the one and only man, along with Principe Myskin, who has not a Super Ego but a super developed ego, a milk-brother to Renato Alzheimer, a former room-mate of Eugenio Sanchez Molina in Toledo Asylum, is now landing on the Giuristi per Naso web site. He is a hero of our time: a hyper-integrated second millennium Zelig can't be sure of surviving in the Third Era, and this is his original way out of everyday's alienation. Galileo Pomponazzi: hemesis after mimesis. |
Galileo Pomponazzi, the Genius of Mankind, was born on December the 25th in year zero, Anno Pomponazzi, in Bethlehem, a tiny town in the Galilea region, so named from then onward after him.Since the very first days in his life he reveals a surprising inclination toward science. After a short experiment he finds out a solution of two parts gold, one part incense and four parts myrrha is the best fuel for both residential and automotive use. Observing an apple drop suggests him a revolutionary idea destined to change scientists' conceptions of energy storage.
Pomponazzi Laser Apple Pie: a smooth solution if microwave is out of sight
Twelve, he joins Cheope and it is due to him that a pyramid is brilliantly substituted in the place of the originally designed scalen icosaeder.Fourteen, he subdues the Hittite Empire, by encircling – alone with his toothpaste - twenty-three enemy divisions. While resting after battle, he invents the neutron and a useful carob-peeling device.
Sixteen, he seducts a very young Cleopatra he has introduced himself to using the subtle fake name Pompeonazzi.
Seventeen, he discovers the talent of a young man and provides his break into brand new invented television. So a use is found for one of the most spectacular and revolutionary among his inventions: the wheel (of Fortune).
While working with Spanish counterespionage service, he geniusly conceives an alternative use for the same amazing invention: the wheel (of Holy Inquisition).
A clearly satisfied Pomponazzi caught in the middle of experimenting The Third Application of Wheel
Nineteen, 500 years before Cristobal Colon, he discovers the West Indies, although he, just at first, mistakes them for the United States. He exports there the use of chopsticks, rice and bidet. During a truly messed up after-dinner party, he finds out sticks are likely to be otherwise used, and, together with an English young band who's there in search of inspiration, performs a faultless 125-minute drumsIsolo.
In 1374 he summons Dante Alighieri's heirs, because he is allegedly libelled by the layout of Heaven in the Divine Comedy. The suit is still pending before the Purgatory Court of Appeal.
Twenty-three, in the middle of a solemn Mass, he strongly reprehends a promising young Austrian Foley artist. Correctly guided, the not ungifted composer submits a score to Galileo Pomponazzi, who during last year's assault on Reichstag has assumed the epithet "Immense and Aerophagic". The score is completely revised by Pomponazzi; music historians will know it as Dies Irae and falsely attribute it to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
A few years later, a tiny, lissome orchestral work, credited as "Don Galileo" by most acute philologists, in place of - corrupt - "Don Giovanni" (or “Don Johnson”, under the Melanie Griffith lection), is performed on the occasion of solemn wedding of Pomponazzi (who has in the meanwhile assumed the epithet "Rough but Beautifulst" to celebrate his victorious Rape of the Sabines) and Brigitte Bardot. Pomponazzi claims this was the first heroine role of her, formerly known only as the "Master's Fiancée".During an enthusiastic votive toast Pomponazzi, first man in history, sets foot on the Moon. That originates a memorable brawl between a bunch of drunken guests. Neil Armstrong, Robert Peary, Roald Amundsen and Antonio Banderas are identified by the police while arguing about who of them has set his feet upon the bride the first.
Pomponazzi teletransporting-ray works ! Peary and Amundsen are delivered to Saturn. (Peary the first)
In the early Sixties, Galileo Pomponazzi, who is nowadays President of Politburo, Director of Central Intelligence Agency, lead guitarist of the Rolling Stones, the Led Zeppelin, the Who and the Deep Purple, Liz Taylor's ad interim husband and Mandarin at the same time, thwarts a deadly attack on the life of US Senator Thomas Jordan, plotted by the renowned British actor Laurence Harvey on the set of John Frankenheimer's "The Manchurian candidate". Pomponazzi's testimony on the motive of such a terrible deed is still hidden in the American intelligence files as classified information.Pomponazzi's fame nowadays assumes a planetary dimension. He is about to become a real popular icon due to his legendary performances, as, for instance, killing the Dragon after hypnotizing St. Daniel and winning the Formula 1 Grand Prix in Montecarlo on foot after strangling Dorando Pietri on the finishing line.
Among his most underrated inventions we have the suicide uncorker, falsely attributed to Alvaar Maatto, and the umbrella, developed afterwards, during the Cold (and Monsoon) War, to the Atombrella.
From the CIA files: Palo Alto, Pomponazzi explaining to Enrico Fermi some possible military uses of Atombrella
During a light-hearted week-end in Copacabana Pomponazzi inspires James Brown to write the Sex Machine chorus; this incident originates a new endless dispute.
In the Seventies the One Immense Pomponazzi, Glorious Genius of Mankind, conceives the first idea of the Net of Nets, as he passionately quarrels with Nicholas Negroponte on the latter's fishing reserve limits.
His glory is increasing hour by hour: only in a few real or virtual places people don't celebrate his amazing cleverness, his overwhelming physical strength and his frosty but hot handsomeness, thanks to which he prevailed upon the sliest foes, the most annihilating forces of nature and the most pitiless women.You damned Giuristi per Naso, you neglectable scum of the world, you zeroes, it's me I am talking about, I am the one, the wonderful, the mighty Galileo Pomponazzi, I am God's Tax consultant, I am the friend of wives, I am the greatest comedian in the Solar System!
Galileo Pomponazzi !
Galileo Pomponazzi !
Galileo Pomponazzi !
Text by Galileo Pomponazzi - published by Markus & Prince Myskin
Galileo Pomponazzi, Renato Alzheimer, Eugenio Sanchez Molina, Principe Myskin and Markus the Horrible are trademarks of Giuristi per Naso
Hello Zappa Fans and Zappateers
all over the world !
All rights reserved (and deserved)
